The clear prohibition in Deuteronomy 7:3-4 had been greatly ignored throughout Israelite history. God had even offered a reason behind this prohibition: intermarriage with the pagans would lead to apostasy and destruction. It was obvious and problematic, but not consistently honored. 

The situation was critical for Ezra and Nehemiah, they must preserve the purity of Israel, by learning from the mistakes of the past (Neh. 13:26; cf. 1 Kings 11:1-8). If intermarrying pagans had corrupted the wise man who uttered the whole purpose of humankind was to “Fear God and keep His commandments” (Ecc. 12:13), how much more of a threat would it be to a spiritually bankrupt people returning from exile?

This issue was bigger than marriages, as it related to God’s demands for separation and holiness. In Ezra 10, part of the consequences for the person who refused to comply with the community’s repentance was that they would be stripped of all communal benefits and be, “banned from the congregation…” (Ezra 10:8). They must be “separate… from the peoples of the land” (Ezra 10:11), and this included their foreign wives. In Nehemiah 13, the impact was already evident in the blending of languages (Neh. 13:23-24). 

Some lessons for today: Choose your spouse wisely… 

Because it will shape your decisions before God. Even great people of faith are influenced by their spouses, this was evident throughout the history of Israel (e.g., David, Solomon, Ahab, etc.).

Because it can impact Who you serve. Who you marry will influence Who you serve, and how well you serve them, which will impact your eternal destiny. If you can’t agree on some of the most basic elements of life (e.g., Who you serve, how you serve Him, etc.), how much success will you have in your marriage?

Because it will shape the way you raise your family. Will you raise them to serve the true and living God, or a false god in the land? Will you take them to church, raise them to be godly and holy, or will you allow them to run with culture? All that is shaped by you and your spouses’s view(s) of God. Keeping it in the context of Nehemiah: Will you let your children use the language of the world around them or will you demand more godly speech? This affects everyday practical decisions. 

Because it will influence what you allow into your life. Just as Canaanite practices of sexuality, holiness, sacrifice, speech, and every other area of life did not reflect godliness, so today’s practices do not reflect godliness. We must be careful that we do not mold our marriages around the manner of the world. If you marry someone with whom you disagree on spiritual matters, you may find yourself exposed to things you wish you weren’t. What is on the TV or radio, or how much money is spent on this or that; even, how much time is spent on this or that, is all shaped by our worldview and theology. 

My advice to young people about marriage is simple: Choose wisely.