It saddens me that many parents have bought into the cultural pressure. The popular slogans of young people today are no different from those of previous generations. “I have my rights.” “I don’t need you watching over me all the time.” “Stay out of my life.” “It’s none of your business.” “I need my social life.” 

This generation did not invent the desire for privacy. Nor did they invent the desire for independence. 

Mom and Dad, you still need to know! It IS your business to know. It IS your job to get to the details and find out what is going on and what is happening. 

Let me remind you of a few critical issues you need to know… 

You need to know what your kids are doing in their free time. Are they frittering hours away on social media? That is not healthy. I’m not a fan of teenagers even having social media. However, if they do, they do not need unmitigated access to it 24/7. Are they burning away the clock binge-watching Netflix? What shows? You need to know. Netflix pioneered progressively nastier content, and it is freely available. Do your kids have full access to all of it? Most households have separate “avatars” for separate family members. What are your kids watching? How about YouTube? Are you screening the videos? You need to know. 

You need to know what’s on your kid’s phone. Are they spending hours every day playing, texting, chatting, or something else? They do not need unlimited access to them. Some families have a “phone bucket” where family members place their phones when they arrive home. That’s not a bad idea. In either case, several good apps can monitor, track, and prevent information on your child’s device. You better have one. If your child/teenager has a phone with no limits, you have done one of the worst things you could do to them. It doesn’t matter how “Good of a kid he/she is,” you have given them direct access to the sins of the world in the palm of their hand. It is severely negligent without safeguards. Maybe your kid is incredible, but others can still send them things. In case you were unaware, some kids will send nasty things to “Good kids” just to be cruel. You need to know. 

You need to know who your kids are around. Are their friends good kids? This is their circle, the ones who influence them to do or not do things. Videos they are sent to watch, gifs sent in text threads, and the latest episode of that Netflix show will all be sent from this circle of friends. What content are these kids watching and then sending to your kiddo? You need to know who they are around. 

Your kids will tell you that you need to know they are “almost an adult,” that they “are old enough to make these decisions,” they “don’t need you looking over their shoulder all the time,” and you should “trust them.” Your kids are wrong. Almost an adult is still not an adult. Being old enough to make some decisions doesn’t mean all decisions, and certainly not potentially seriously consequential ones. Looking over their shoulder is because they are too precious not to protect. This has nothing to do with you trusting or not trusting them and everything to do with you NOT trusting others. 

Mom and Dad, YOU NEED TO KNOW.