Some of the best advice I was given when I first started preaching was ways to protect my marriage (None of these are entirely original to me). The reality is adultery doesn’t just happen. It happens because several other things happened first. Things that are by themselves entirely preventable. 

That wistful, flirtatious conversation doesn’t just happen. One thing leads to another and another, and then you are where you shouldn’t be. 

Those BIG dumb decisions happen when a thousand stupid decisions were made. How can we prevent the BIG, dumb decisions? Stop making the thousand stupid ones. 

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? 

Let’s put in a few ground rules… We’ll call them “Rules to Protect Our Marriage.” 

1) Never be alone with a person of the opposite sex who isn’t your mom or flesh and blood sister. 

While there might be occasions where this is practically undoable, that doesn’t mean it is entirely undoable. Maybe you occasionally have to meet with a person for your work (so do preachers). Make sure another person is around. Leave your door open. Is that not an option? Then, open all your blinds and remain visible to those outside your office. I’ve heard of some who had office doors installed with a big glass, so the person was always visible. 

This rule alone would save many marriages and reputations. It protects you from temptation and accusation, which can ruin you. 

2) Never continue a long-standing conversation (text or phone call) with a person of the opposite sex. 

This is a different type of intimacy, but it can be just as dangerous. It can create a closeness and familiarity that could pose a threat. Again, in some fields, this is tougher, but it can be done. An easy solution is to include your spouse in every text thread that is regularly used. If that is not an option because of privacy issues, you can refuse to text or speak on the phone and wait until you can meet in person (following the same rules mentioned previously). 

Abusing this rule often leads to issues related to the first rule and the BIG dumb decision. 

These may be too strict for you. Maybe you have lived and worked in the world and never had an issue with this—more power to you. Many have not been as successful. 

I can say to the rest of us, protect your marriage! 

It’s hard to have an affair with someone you are never with. 

It’s hard to get that close to someone you never have an ongoing conversation with. 

This might be tough to implement in your circumstances, but I can guarantee they work.